Shiftings

I've noticed something shifting in me as of late. Now when I hear about friends or family that are pregnant it feels like a stab in my heart. I've been going to baby showers for years and I felt like I could separate our experience from other people's and be genuinely happy for others, but now it feels really, really hard. Of course I don't wish any misfortune on others; it's just that this has become so drawn out that I'm losing my ability to be in mommy/kid-centric circumstances. It's not that I don't want to be around parents with their kids at all, it's just events that are focused on motherhood and/or new babies.
I'm sure this is all made more difficult because of my job as a Postpartum Nurse - working with moms and their new babies everyday! Huge irony, I know. I've considered looking for different work, but it's a tough time to find work in the Bay Area, even for a nurse.
So, I'm trying to look at this as a positive sign that I'm REALLY ready for motherhood. Meanwhile, those of you newly pregnant or newly moms, I hope you'll have patience with me.