How quickly the bubble bursts

Literally the day after our celebratory blog post about referral we receive updated photos that our MD had requested over a month ago, regarding an area of skin that was of concern. Not only do the photos not show the area of concern, but Bedilu does not look good at all. He looks emaciated, scared, has a terrible skin rash on his legs and torso, and we’re like: we just accepted a referral to take on this little boy’s life who is in major distress? And we have absolutely no control over what happens to him til he’s in our arms, after our 2nd trip there, and on the plane home?! I’m sure this happens to parents with their biological babies if they find out their baby has a birth defect or ends up in the NICU, but at least there is physical contact with this being, whether in utero or postpartum. This guy is in a developing country, half a world away and we have no idea what the heck is going on there. It’s HEART-WRENCHING.

I minored in Cultural Anthropology in college, I’ve travelled in the 3rd world a lot, I can imagine what it’s like in Ethiopia, how things can get lost in translation, how their idea of healthy is different from ours, how we as Americans have the luxury to obsess over details, facts, science, efficiency, recourse. We know there are power outages there constantly, making for undependable internet and fax connections. But somehow that doesn’t assuage my fears.

Luckily, we have a truly wonderful pediatrician that is advocating for us. She is currently on vacation in NYC, but she responded to an email we sent her with the updated photos right away. She was very concerned too and feels that it’s essential Bedilu get transferred to Addis (the capital of Ethiopia) ASAP. Bedilu is currently in an orphange in a rural area of the Southern region. The care is better in Addis, they have better access to hospitals, labs, etc… We don’t yet know how they’ll respond to her request, as she cannot mandate actions taken in Ethiopia. I know this sounds weird because we’ve invested our absolutely EVERYTHING into this, but this is international adoption (IA) and this is their soil, their laws, their courts, and Bedilu is not legally ours yet. He won’t be until we pass court, which will be scheduled on our first trip and we’re still waiting to hear when that will be – hopefully sometime in May. But I'm choosing to be hopeful that the doctor will have some clout.

Mind you, we’re working with a very ethical, reputable agency and I think even they feel frustrated with their limitations around what they can implement in the quagmire of buerocracy in Ethiopia, so I truly believe that all involved are doing their best.

Anyway, the only guarantee of IA is that it’s unpredictable, so for now we’re staying the course, praying a lot, fighting for our Bedilu, just as he must be fighting for us, and showing him what strength, perseverance, and commitment mean. Please pray for him/send him positive thoughts too – I really think this can make a difference.