Leaving, on a jet plane

Excellent - I've found yet another reason to procrastinate on packing by doing a blog post! Chaat and I leave tommorrow and WE are OUT OF OUR MINDS with EXCITEMENT!!! Major butterflies and hearts absolutely BURSTING with love for our son. It's so astounding to me the love that we feel for this little being that we've never met. I keep picturing an intricate web of ties that bond us and multiply daily.

A few days ago we received what's called a 'social report' from our agency; it's a really lovely compilation of updated photos of Bedilu and descriptions of his personality, daily activities, and development. Mind you, up til now we've only gotten just a handful of pictures of him and they were from several months ago. It completely blew us away - he looked sooooo different. He has gained much weight and is actually a chunky monkey now! He looks so healthy and happy and it assured us that he is getting good care in the orphanage. Some of the photos showed him interacting with the other kiddos and it was absolutely adorable. We feel extreme relief and can hardly wait to hold him.

We have several days in Addis Ababa(the capital of Ethiopia) where we'll be taking care of business and staying in what's called a 'guesthouse' provided by our agency. There will be other adoptive families there also either for their court date and to meet their children like us, or others that are there for their second trip and embassy date when they'll bring their child home. I think it's going to be absolutely amazing to meet these other families and imagine we'll form lifelong relationships.

After a few days of cultural outings in Addis, we go on a 6+ hr round-trip bus ride to the rural orphanage and meet Bedilu! I've heard it's a beautiful ride and gives a great opportunity to get to know the southern region, which is very lush, unlike the arid north. We're told we'll only have about an hour and a half with him, as it's a long day trip. Can't really wrap my head around this part, and leaving him, but my goal if to be 100% present while having this precious time with him.

The next day we go to court, give our testimony, answer a bunch of questions, tell the judge why we want to adopt from Ethiopia, what we've done to prepare, etc... Then Chaat and I go north for another week to check out significant Ethiopian history, rock-hewn churches, spend time with locals, and be the eyes and ears for Bedilu so that we can talk to him about his country someday.

As twisted and fu#%cked up this process has been as a means of uniting with our child, I actually feel certain that it's the right path. Things are coming into focus now and I've realized so much about myself, like that I really never did have the desire to be pregnant or give physical birth (however, I definitely see all sorts of parallels and metaphors for being pregnant right now and will have to post about that another time!). For reasons not altogether clear yet, I am certain that this is EXACTLY what we are meant to be doing and see that I'm lucky to have the opportunity to come to motherhood in such a unique way. It feels like the perfect fit for our personalities and sense of adventure.

Okay, so now I really do have to pack. Chaat and I are chronically unprepared for trips, always packing up until the last hour and staying up all night, ugh! Probably won't post at all in Ethiopia, as we'll be busy and they have frequent power outages, undependable internet. So here we go, on the trip of a lifetime, woo-hoo!!!