The Roller Coaster

Sorry for the hiatus. Last week was a bit of a roller coaster. Well, this whole thing is a ride, really.
As you know, we've been trying to get our boy to Addis. He's barely gaining weight and we'd like a doctor to examine him. But the docs don't make it out to the rural area much, and they don't have the facilities there for tests. So Addis it must be.

Early last week our case specialist sent us a PDF of a fax from the nurse at the orphanage saying that Bedilu is healthy, no vomiting, no diarrhea, no sign of dehydration, no fever, no danger signs. signs of malnutrition but nothing deathly. His growth charts are still way behind, but his head circumference is growing well so that's good. Maybe he'll have a big head just like dad (me)!

What we see here is a classic case of relative perspective. From our point of view, things don't look good. From their point of view, as scary as it sounds, they've probably seen much worse. Our doctor recommends transfer and sees things more gravely. The Ethiopia staff will take her recommendations under advisement, but ultimately it's their decision. It's hard to take comfort in that, but we really don't have much choice. But choosing to see the brighter side of a dim picture doesn't mean we're satisfied or will stop trying to improve it.

We still don't know if or when a transfer to Addis will happen. And even if it does, we learned last week that the babies will continue to be cup fed. This is hard for us to accept because we know of other cases/care centers/adoption agencies that do bottle feeding.

Late last week we had a conversation with our doctor. She revisited the medical records and the photos and she tempered her assessment a bit. She said if given the same records today, she'd still make the same assessments as she did when we first retained her. That might not sound great, but it was actually an improvement over our last conversation with her. You'll recall that she had assessed the photos and was very concerned. Regarding the new photos we discussed a couple of blog posts ago, she said the skin stuff looks like something that can be treated, not a permanent condition. She was concerned about the lack of catch-up growth, but then said it's the nurse who is with the baby, not her. She said the assessment is probably somewhere between the nurse's view and her view. We've got different standards than they do, and we need to try and trust the care he's being given there, especially given the fact that we don't have control over it.

Then on Friday, our case specialist told us that pediatricians from the Mayo Clinic are going to travel to the orphanage in a few weeks and are scheduled to see Bedilu. Although weeks seem like months, I'm happy to hear it. We're looking forward to that assessment.

So in increments, I try to find these little glimmers of hope and savor tiny victories, because that's all we really have. It's too easy to get wrapped up in what's not working, but that's not my style. Yet I don't want to be ignorant or in denial. It's a fine line. It's a roller coaster.